Success Demands Sacrifice—Or Is It Just Your Mindset?

Success and sacrifice are often treated as two sides of the same coin, with the belief that achieving greatness requires giving up something meaningful in return. Sacrifice, by definition, is the act of relinquishing something valuable—whether it's time, comfort, or personal joys—for the sake of a greater goal.

For many, this could mean long hours at work instead of spending time with their family, putting career ambitions ahead of romantic relationships, or missing essential milestones in their children's lives.

Is sacrifice truly an unavoidable part of success, or is it a reflection of our mindset and personality, shaped by cultural norms and personal beliefs?

Understanding the power of a mindset can empower us to reshape our perceptions of sacrifice and success.

For instance, a top Chef might sacrifice, special events, Holidays and relationships to perfect their craft. The long hours in the kitchen, relentless pursuit of culinary mastery, and commitment to innovation often come at the expense of spending time with family or nurturing personal connections.

However, is it truly a sacrifice if the Chef values those aspects of life less than their passion for cooking? Suppose they derive immense satisfaction and purpose from their work. In that case, they may not perceive these trade-offs as sacrifices but as natural choices aligned with their priorities and values.

Would this mean that family or romantic relationships are not valuable for them? Perhaps not—it could instead reflect a prioritization of career ambitions in the present moment, with the possibility of shifting focus to family and personal connections at a different stage of life.

Yet, research by Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse and author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, emphasizes that one of the most common regrets people express as they age is not spending enough time with loved ones. This serves as a tender reminder that choices in pursuing career goals might have long-term emotional consequences.

Similarly, a PhD student may sacrifice social outings, sleep, or financial stability to excel academically. Late nights studying, working multiple jobs to fund their education, and postponing personal milestones like marriage or starting a family are common examples.

However, instead of putting off significant life events like marriage or starting a family, the student might choose to adjust their standard of living as a "sacrifice." In addition, they may go without buying a house, car, or lifestyle enhancements during their studies. Additionally, family support can play a fundamental role in minimizing "sacrifices." Whether offering financial assistance, emotional encouragement, or helping with daily responsibilities, a supportive family network can ease the burdens of pursuing academic goals, allowing the student to balance their education and personal life.

While challenging, these " sacrifices " are often seen as necessary trade-offs for the success and fulfillment they hope to achieve in the long run. The extent and necessity of such sacrifices are subjective and often influenced by one's values, mindset, and approach to goals.

A 52-year-old woman, after raising four children and divorced, decided to pursue a university degree. Her journey required significant sacrifices, such as giving up leisure time, scaling back social activities, and managing financial constraints to cover tuition and living expenses. She might have also had to navigate the emotional challenges of balancing her studies with supporting her children, who still relied on her to some extent.

Her determination to succeed demonstrates how sacrifices can be strategically managed. For instance, she may have leaned on her adult children for emotional support or sought flexible part-time work to fund her education without taking on excessive stress. She achieved her academic goals by setting clear priorities and embracing a long-term view.

She was an inspiring role model for her children, proving that it's never too late to chase your dreams. This strategic approach to sacrifice empowered her to navigate challenges and achieve her goals.

But was it a "sacrifice"?

According to this woman, it was not. Learning, unlearning, and relearning was challenging, but she never felt she had "sacrificed" anything. It was with the understanding that she needed to manage her leisure time, social activities, and financial constraints, not "sacrifice" them, because of her desire to succeed. If you asked her children if they had to make "sacrifices" in their Mother's pursuit of a degree,  they would say Yes.

Success often comes at a cost for the individual pursuing it and those around them. Family members, friends, and colleagues may sacrifice to support someone's goals. For example, a spouse might take on additional household responsibilities or put their career ambitions on hold to provide emotional support. Children might experience less time with a parent working long hours or studying for advanced qualifications. Even friends might adjust their expectations, understanding that their time together may be limited. These sacrifices are often unspoken and, made out of love or loyalty, can create feelings of neglect or resentment if not acknowledged.

Recognizing and appreciating the sacrifices others make on your behalf is crucial, as it fosters stronger relationships and ensures that success is a shared journey rather than a solitary achievement.

Some people view sacrifice as a badge of honour—a signal of dedication and perseverance. This belief is reinforced by societal conditioning. Dr. Carol Dweck, a leading psychologist and author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, emphasizes that individuals with a "fixed mindset" may see sacrifice as the only path to proving their worth. A "growth mindset" is more likely to seek balanced strategies for success without losing touch with their personal lives.

"A fixed mindset. If you fail or are not the best – it's all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value their actions regardless of the outcome."

Many of us are raised to believe that hard work and sacrifice are inseparable from success, and this narrative shapes how we work and value ourselves. For example, a parent may justify missing their child's school play because they worked to provide a better future. Still, years later, they may regret prioritizing financial success over irreplaceable family moments. Similarly, ambitious individuals often put their romantic relationships on the back burner, believing they'll "make time later" once they've reached their goals—only to realize that their partners or opportunities for connection may have drifted away.

Beyond societal expectations, our traits and beliefs also shape how we perceive sacrifice and success. Personality plays a significant role. People who are highly driven, perfectionistic, or overly critical of themselves may impose sacrifice as a condition for achievement. They often feel that success isn't "earned" unless accompanied by hardship. Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher known for her work on vulnerability, notes that this mindset often stems from a fear of inadequacy. For such individuals, making visible sacrifices—working late nights, skipping vacations, or declining social invitations—can prove to themselves and others that they're "worthy" of success.

But does success truly require such sacrifice?

Experts like Arianna Huffington, founder of Thrive Global, argue otherwise. In her book Thrive, she highlights the dangers of burnout culture. She emphasizes redefining success to include well-being, wisdom, and wonder. Many successful people achieve their goals by working smarter, not harder—through strategic planning, delegation, and aligning their efforts with their passions. These individuals don't see success as an adversary to personal happiness but as something that can coexist with a fulfilling life. This perspective inspires us to prioritize balance and well-being in our pursuit of success.

Is your sacrifice essential, or is it self-imposed?

Sacrifice is often a product of habit, societal expectations, or a fear of failure rather than an objective need. For example, someone might be sleep-deprived to finish a project, believing it's the only way to succeed when better planning or asking for help could have achieved the same result without the toll on their health. Similarly, a person might prioritize work over spending time with their partner or children, thinking they're "building a better future" but neglecting the relationships that give their life meaning in the present.

It's time to challenge the idea that success demands sacrifice and redefine what success truly means. Real success isn't measured solely by accolades, wealth, or professional status—it's about living authentically, nurturing meaningful relationships, and aligning your goals with your values.

Dr. Laura Vanderkam, author of Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done, points out successful people often prioritize what truly matters to them and find ways to integrate their professional ambitions with their personal lives.

The notion that sacrifice is essential for success may be deeply ingrained. It's worth examining whether that belief is serving or holding you back. True fulfillment lies in balance and intentionality.

After all, the ultimate success isn't just achieving your goals; it's building a whole life that nurtures your career, relationships, and well-being in harmony.